hope within despair
by Cescalia
Summary: The former superhero Chat Noir has destroyed his rival Ladybug, the superheroine of Paris and he should feel accomplished. Instead, he starts remembering his humanity and realises what Ladybug truly meant to him. (megamind au)


The streets were covered with plastic wrappers and papers that were flying around in the wind, swept up and plastered against the walls of the buildings. The sun was ready to set and Chat realized he had been fighting Ladybug for hours already. It was exhausting.

She never seemed to give up, it was too important for her to stop his actions.

As if they were solely directed towards her. He would have left her alone if she hadn't started interrupting his heists, seeking her precious justice. What did she know about justice?

From then on he fought back to continue pursuing his interests without her presence looming over him every second. She was always in the way and that's why the mild dislike and annoyance turned into loathing.

"Are you ready to be crushed, Bug? Pests like you shouldn't live for long."

Ladybug didn't answer, but he could see she was worn from the fight, He only hoped that she didn't manage to beat him by pure luck as it often occurred, leaving him with a bitter taste of failure.

The audience they had had for the first hours anxiously observing the fight with phones in their grasps, had long been gone and retreated back to their homes, foolishly believing that Ladybug was able to restore the city and end this current feud. He cringed at the thought.

How many years had they been doing it? Neither of them ever got the upper hand for more than few days. Every time he tried to destroy her, he failed and every time she tried to stop him, she failed. It was a never-ending circle; they would stay twirling around each other until one was unable to continue.

Chat snarled when her yo-yo string wrapped around his wrist countering his next attack. The damn thing never broke, but he was successful in losing its hold and in seconds he wrangled his hand free again. He barked some insults her way, threatening to kill her for good, so he could think over his next attack.

He saw an opening and when Chat Noir jumped at her, he already had Cataclysm ready in his hand, waiting to be used on the victim. His vision became blurry as a thick smoke swarmed around the duo, and the last thing Chat Noir saw before it completely obscured his sight was his palm hitting the red spotted fabric, thus causing it to crumble into nothing.

As the smoke cleared, he was left staring at his bare gloved hand and the emptiness in front of him. There was nothing at the spot, where she had stood seconds ago.

Had he finally done it? Had he gotten rid of her at last?

Ladybug was dead and he had finally destroyed her. It was a total fluke, he hadn't imagined that today would have been the day when he was free of her. He felt euphoric, but still shocked.

Chat raised his eyes only to see one young woman with brown locks and glasses, holding a phone in the hand which in no doubt had recorded everything. The phone clattered to the ground and he could almost feel her immense fear.

She was frozen on the ground, but he saw how her hands were shaking before she curled them into fists.

He grinned towards her, as she stared at him with wide eyes, and turned around to leave, picking her phone off the ground as quickly as possible.

Excitement bubbled in his chest; he was free to do anything he wanted without Ladybug stopping him. Should he rob the banks or maybe steal some artwork from Louvre to decorate his lair? The possibilities were endless.

Settling somewhere else such as Grande hotel or town hall didn't really interest him, but he could terrorise some citizens a bit just for the fun of it.

On his way home he stopped near the electronic store window where the TV displayed the news. He was satisfied with the clear horror on news anchor's face as she described Ladybug's death and how things would not be the same. She even went as far that to advise everyone to stay in their homes in case Chat Noir turned up and killed them.

Killing citizens seemed pointless, but he still enjoyed the fear on every passing Parisian's face who happened to notice him standing next to the window and who ran in the opposite direction as soon as they saw him.

He had never felt that much power before.

Next days passed in a blur. He robbed a bank and laughed at the expense of the civilians who shivered in fear when he was close. He destroyed Ladybug's statue with a single touch. He chose to take residence on the Eiffel Tower, scaring all of the few tourists left that had tried to ignore his presence at first to have a look at the world famous landmark.

No one opposed him; they only watched silently how he single-handedly emptied the city of joy and laughter. People were afraid to leave their houses. They gave everything to him on a silver platter so he wouldn't bother them anymore.

There was a small celebration arranged in the town square for the tribute of Ladybug. Surprisingly, a huge crowd had gathered despite the danger. They loved their heroine so much that they were willing to sacrifice their safety for a chance to properly say their goodbyes. Pathetic.

He let them have it. He wasn't that much of a monster, but looking at the assembly from nearby, he smirked at their futile try to bring honour to her memory and the threats that one day she would be avenged. Let them try to take him down from his throne; he wouldn't give it up that easily.

In the centre of the small celebrations he missed the lone face in the far end of the crowd, face hidden by the red hood that the mysterious person wore. She seemed to be staring at his direction, frowning slightly. He never noticed her, not even when she turned back and walked off with a new purpose.

* * *

A week later the once lively and cheerful city had turned into a ghost town. People still worked to earn their living, but they rarely went outside. Most of the workplaces accepted work from home and the services such as stores and restaurants either closed down for the time of Chat's reign, or offered food delivery services that brave civilians took on.

Chat Noir lounged on the platform of the Eiffel Tower, one leg hanging over the edge and looking at the city that had turned off most of their lights in mourning. Why did Paris care so much about one woman, he didn't understand.

He had to admit, he was getting bored. The fun of creating chaos had already begun to diminish a few days ago and creating havoc was now more like a chore for him, not an activity he enjoyed doing. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he missed her. Ladybug.

What was the point in being a villain, when there was no hero to fight against?

In one split decision he jumped off the Eiffel Tower and took off towards the Notre Dame. The church was in the centre of the city and he had always loved it as a child, it brought on an eerie feeling, not to mention he loved Victor Hugo's work.

There was no one watching him as he landed between the bell towers and looked at the setting sun. He had developed a crazy habit. He was constantly talking to himself. He felt even lonelier than he had been in his childhood. He had absolutely no one to talk to since he killed Ladybug.

To his horror, he felt his heart clench for the first time at the thought of her fading away to nothingness in front of him. He didn't think he was even capable of these kinds of emotions anymore.

"What am I doing? I have no purpose. I killed her. It felt good. But now… I'm not even that sure what to do. Have I become to regret that decision?"

"Hello?" He startled.

He knew that some civilians used to sneak in to come up there, but he didn't think anyone would be willing to risk coming there now.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" A soft feminine voice called. Chat panicked, he was mostly obscured by the statues, but the owner of the voice would surely discover him if he didn't act now.

In seconds, he detransformed for the first time in eight years. Later he would slap himself on his forehead for he could have simply jumped away or scared the living hell out of them and it would have been done. He could have avoided the detransformation and the kwami who instantly hid inside his shirt that was a bit too tight for him since he had grown. In no time at all, a young woman arrived to the scene.

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard a voice and I came to check, I didn't think anyone would be here," the woman smiled awkwardly.

Adrien was at a crossroads. He hadn't had a civil conversation in years; he had no idea how to act in front of a pretty girl. Or anyone. His only conversational partner had been Ladybug, and she hadn't cared about civility. Neither had he.

"Uh, it's no problem. I didn't think anyone would be here either."

"I'm Marinette," he gulped as her eyes brightened and she stepped closer to shake his hand.

"Adrien." That name seemed foreign to him now. His handshake was firm despite the slight shaking. What kind of a situation had he wrapped himself in?

"Why are you here?"

"Thinking."

"About Ladybug." She nodded in understanding and looked towards the Seine.

 _How_ did she know, did she have some kind of superpowers?

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, isn't that what everybody thinks of nowadays? That or Chat Noir."

His heart skipped a beat.

"You don't have to tell me. We all have our little secrets."

Little? Not a chance.

The sun had set and the sky had turned navy blue.

"How did you get here?"

"Stairs."

"Oh, right. How else? Hehe…"

Neither commented how the stairs were nearly unwalkable and clearly a death trap without knowing where to step, which they both pretended they did.

"You know, I always wanted to be a hero. Whenever I saw Ladybug, I was mesmerised. She was so headstrong and brave protecting the city from Hawkmoth and his akumas. I would have given anything to be beside her."

He had no idea, why he decided to share his deepest thoughts with a random stranger. That was what loneliness did to him. Marinette seemed to be thinking thoroughly about something, but she was there, listening.

"Then Chat Noir appeared."

"Yeah."

No need to pour everything out to her and confess right there right now that he was Chat Noir. The one who actually had been there for Ladybug, as her partner, until he betrayed her. Not on purpose. He never had the chance to tell her. In the end, he just screwed everything up.

Adrien hadn't allowed himself to think about these years in which they had been partners. He wasn't sure of his memories as the black cat miraculous had corrupted them all, detained his thoughts when he was no longer able to resist the dark power. It still had been his choice; he deserved to not remember her gentleness and concern for him before he changed his path.

The civilians had of course forgotten about all the good he had done. He was bad. That was what he was meant to be. With a father like his.

"You two! You're not allowed to be here!" A voice yelled at them and Adrien turned around ready to frighten them, how dare they shout at him. It took him a moment, before he realised he was detransformed.

"We're very sorry, we're leaving right away." Marinette said and they both followed the night guard back down, using the stairwell that was locked and in decent condition unlike the other stairs that Marinette claimed to have climbed. She probably picked a lock.

When they arrived down, the night guard ushered them away and went back to his place inside the Cathedral, behind closed doors and away from the looming threat of Chat Noir. Adrien would have guessed they had planted a camera up there. Security was tightened to maximum.

"Will you get home safe?" Marinette asked. She seemed to be concerned for him. Oh right, Chat Noir was terrorizing the city. For some reason, he was bothered that she feared his presence.

"Yes…" Was he supposed to ask her the same? "Will you?"

"My home is not far from here." She smiled and turned around to walk in direction of her home, probably. Wait, this was it? Was there something else people did in these situations?

"Uh, do you want me to walk you home?" Marinette stopped and looked back at him.

"If you want to."

He fell into step with her. She adjusted the tiny bag on her shoulder that he just now noticed.

"Are you afraid of him? Chat Noir?" She must have been. Everyone was now, when Ladybug wasn't around.

"No." That was surprising. He didn't look that frightening, but he was sure his actions and how he had killed Ladybug so easily, would have sparked fear in most people.

"He's pitiful." What? No, he wasn't. He felt rage storming in his stomach that he tried to press down, because he was interested in Marinette's thoughts.

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't understand how he could choose this life. He let Ladybug go." Debatable. "He did exactly the same things Hawk Moth did and look how he ended up." He wasn't his father. Or was he? "And then he decided to destroy the only thing in his life that still mattered and who still held on hope there was something good left in him. It's pathetic, really."

That one stuck in his head. Marinette thought Ladybug still had had hope for him. After eight years, could it have been possible, she still cared a little?

* * *

He had been meeting up with Marinette for couple times already that month since the first meeting. She was easy to talk to, too easy as he came uncomfortably close to confessing everything to her. It helped that she seemed to have been lonely as well. He felt connected to her.

Adrien had invited her to the restaurant that was opened again, since he wasn't really doing anything anymore. What was the point when Ladybug was not going to stop him? So, some business deemed the money that came in was more important than the potential risk of getting attacked by Chat Noir.

"I was stuck in my house, home-schooled for my whole life, I rarely went outside. He said it was dangerous. But I should have known." Should have known that his father had been hurting people and hurting her, Ladybug.

"My father lived a double life. And I didn't tell her."

"Why didn't you?" She didn't understand. She probably thought Gabriel had been cheating on his wife. On the contrary, he did everything to get her back. He justified his actions with getting Adrien's mother back. At what cost. So Adrien rebelled. And then he found the ring.

"I was so angry. I wanted to be free. I wanted to escape his hold on me. I wanted to help her." He knew his mother wouldn't come back. She was gone and he had accepted it. However much it pained him to face the truth. But he wasn't willing to let his father sacrifice Ladybug for this mindless mission.

"She's gone. And it's all my fault." She took his hand on the table and softly caressed it in comfort. He let her. He had suppressed his feelings for so long that he had forgotten the time before he had Plagg, when he had been so eager to jump into danger, he had forgotten the nightly patrols he had with Ladybug, he had forgotten that lone kiss she once was willing to give him.

"Without her, my life is utterly meaningless." Because she wasn't there. Marinette –she was a great girl, she was funny, caring and sweet, but she wasn't _her_. What had he done?

"It's not your fault, okay?" Her fingers continuously brushed over his ring and she looked down. It was a plain silver ring; anybody could have had a similar one. But somehow she knew and then she withdrew her hand as if his skin had burned her.

"This is not happening. You're not him. You can't be him." She whispered and took a stepped away from the table. He was horrified, because she knew and he couldn't say anything to prove otherwise. Before he could even stand up, she had left the table and exited the restaurant, stepping into pouring rain.

She had wrapped her hands around her bare arms to secure herself from the cold and rain and she was walking down the empty street, her only aim to get as far away from him as possible. He ran out towards her, shouting her name, but she ignored him. When he reached her, she turned around.

"Are you happy now? You got what you wanted!"

He hung his head and wasn't going to explain himself. He had gone too far in mingling with a civilian to cure his loneliness.

"Did you get some sick pleasure in deceiving me? You destroyed Ladybug, took over the city and then you actually got me to care about you! I've been so stupid. Everything you just said was a lie. Making me believe that you felt remorse and actually loved–" She cut off and looked at him in disbelief.

"I don't believe this," she covered her face, "Do you _really_ think that I would _ever_ be with _you_?"

His eyes slowly grew wide. He noticed the different use of pronoun. She had let it slip. The secret she never told.

Marinette backed away in the rain and he stared at her unbelieving. When he took a step forward, she took a step back.

"Please don't."

"Ladybug..."

"Don't."

He had brought so much trouble and grief to her in all these years. He couldn't fathom how she was alive, but she had always been miraculous. He had never felt that relieved, but he couldn't bear to hear the rejection to his plea for forgiveness. He was a guilty man and deserved the judgment.

His legs gave out under him and he fell to his knees on the wet pavement in front of her. He didn't have to raise his head to know that her face was not only wet from the raindrops as her quiet sobs echoed in rain.

It seemed as if hours passed by, in reality it had only been few minutes, before she dared to close the distance and cautiously kneel in front of him. She hesitated, but after struggling with her emotions, she touched his cheek and raised his head to make him look her in the eye. Her thoughts ran all over the place before fixating on a single unbearable realisation.

"Your father…" She understood that she was the reason why Adrien had lost his last family member; however horrible person Gabriel was, Adrien had still somewhat cared for him and hoped for his redemption. "It was an accident."

He had tried to stop it happening, his father was all he had. He never had any friends, except Chloé who moved away to live with her mother when he was a teenager. Ladybug had taken his father away from him and he had been devastated. After all he had done, he had still cared for him. His father had given him a choice and he chose Ladybug. And when Gabriel was gone, she was too.

He waited on the rooftop and she hadn't come back. In despair, he lost himself in grief and repressed anger. She had left when he had been the most vulnerable. He should have waited longer, because in the end, she came back, she always did, but then it was too late.

"I know. I think I forgave you a long time ago, I just didn't forgive myself. I thought that was my destiny. To be like he had been." Unhappy. Evil.

"Chat…" her voice sounded broken.

"I'm so sorry." The tears didn't seem to stop. Marinette, Ladybug, gasped and finally wrapped her hands around his torso, pulling him close, so they could both be atoned.

"I hurt you–"

"It's okay."

"No, I gave into the power. I shouldn't have been that weak."

"I forgive you."

He blinked and another tear streamed down. How could she have so much good in her?

She looked deep into his eyes; she saw earnest honesty, remorse and love. She made a decision and allowed herself to close her eyes, lean in and kiss him on the lips. She had only done it once before. She had told herself that it didn't mean anything, when in fact, she hadn't been able to forget it and had wanted to repeat it immensely.

Their clothes were soaked and knees hurt from the hard ground, but the surroundings didn't matter. The pain and sorrow were swept away with the rain and the sweetness of their kiss.


End file.
